A new year, and our last year so to speak.  We’ve been told and from what I’ve researched, there is a two year window to rehabilitate Michael’s brain.  Year one is over and we are beginning year two toward recovery. He is resisting. 

It’s never been easy for me to write, it doesn’t come naturally but I’ve found that it helps. It all began with Nate’s desire to keep everyone up to date with Michael’s progress during the days when it was very difficult to speak.  We will forever be indebted to Jim McNelis for this wonderful instrument of communication that he appropriately named we luv mike.  Bobby was able to post medical updates for family and friends across the world within days of Michael’s accident.  Many times Bobby was able to post real time information through either his laptop or the computer in the hospital library.  This website allowed many of you sit with us in a virtual waiting room…praying with us and hoping that God would spare Michael’s life.  You knew when his temperature spiked, when his blood pressure soared to dangerous levels and you felt the roller coaster of emotion as his life hung in the balance. Within a couple of weeks Bobby had to travel out of town on a business trip and when he said it would be my job, I remember saying that I did not want to be the one to write.  I could not be the one to do the updates.  I resisted.

The first day to update was difficult but almost immediately I found strength in the release of emotion.  Every tear-filled post allowed me to open my broken heart without having to speak.  Your response and postings to Michael wrapped around me like the wings of angels and I found endless comfort in your love for my son, for our family. An affirmation of sorts that we were all going to be okay.  The days of feeling like I was not the one to give updates are long gone but the difficulty of writing has not waivered. Difficult yes, but it is an honor and a pleasure to share Michael’s progress with you. The difficulty now lies in detailing this journey without dishonoring the subject.  

Folks, Michael still reads the blog every day. There is a new discovery each time he reads, even if he has read it a couple of times before, there’s a pretty good chance it will still seem like a new discovery.  He reads what I post (hello Michael) and he reads over the hundreds of ”We Love Mike” comments each and every day.  In those days that he could not hear you,  you spoke from your heart through this website in hopes that one day he would be able to read your words and understand their meaning. He is reading and understanding the power behind the hope you had for his recovery and the belief in his strength to persevere.

There are times that the challenges that lie ahead seem insurmountable but there has never been a day, not one moment that I have considered giving up or giving in.  It is a process. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, month by month and now year to year, I place one foot in front of the other, I try to remember to breathe in and breathe out.  I will not give up on pushing Michael to re-train every ounce of injured brain that God is willing to let him recover. 

Resistance. “I don’t need your help” comes partly from the injury to the frontal lobes and right hemisphere.  An altered self awareness that protects the psyche but distorts ability.  I think the confusion lies in the two roles I play - I am his mother and no self-respecting twenty six year old wants to be over mothered.  I am also Nathan’s mother and Emily’s mother and Bobby’s wife.  I am an auntie, I am a daughter of aging parents, I’m a sister and I am a Realtor. So how do I say that the most important role I play right now is Michael’s therapist?  I say it knowing that although the future of our tomorrows are unknown, the two year window for recovering from a brain injury is a known fact. I’m working with the known and we only have this year left. 

Michael is beginning to resent some of the things I do, some of the “busy work” as he calls it.  He doesn’t always like the reminders. or the worksheets, or the note taking and will even push off working out.  We have “talks” about why we do what we do but understanding the purpose is short lived. Michael, don’t give up on yourself.  You’ve never been okay with being anything less than everything you could be. There’s always been a competition. Don’t settle. Get mad, be stubborn, it doesn’t matter. I’m not giving up on you. Don’t resist…you’re not done. We have 2009 and 2009 is going to be fine. Linda said so.

One Love

xxoo

p.s. Michael’s day began on the upside with a visit to the dentist - still no cavities! Then a neuro -opthamologist appointment that ended with a thumbs up but on our way home, we got word that his health insurance will end in April. 

As of April 2009 all doctors visits and all prescriptions will be paid out of pocket. The qualifier for applying for Medicaid after a brain injury begins 6 months after the disability occured plus two years. 

Mike would remember Christmas 2008 and with God’s blessing will continue to make new memories.  Our celebration would bring what will now be a new Christmas tradition of baking, cooking and passing down family recipes on Christmas Eve.  We were fortunate to have both of my parents with us for the holiday so Christmas Eve was spent in the kitchen with my mother, Grandma Nana.  Michael, Nathan, Emily and Sylvette learned the art of making old fashioned fudge and the secrets of baking the best Hello Dollies ever! We made sugar cookie dough, rolled it with a rolling pin and then with the cutters they used as kids, pressed their favorites - Christmas trees, candy canes, trains, birds, holly and snowmen. We made icing and decorated our works of art with colored sugar, sparkles and sprinkles.  There were chocolate chips, peanut butter, chopped nuts, pounds of butter, sugar and flour all over the kitchen - the ingredients for so much more than sweets. These were ingredients to store in our book of Christmas memories forever.   

All too often we forget what value lies in simplicity. A sign of our times, not necessarily a sign of who we are as people.  The best gift we can ever give is our time and guaranteed it is what we will miss the most.  A Christmas without her Mother, the daughter won’t miss that video game, those new Ugg boots, that new Coach purse but she will miss her Mom.  The Father won’t miss that tie, those new cuff-links but he will miss the son when he is no longer there. As much as we think our families need all the “stuff”…they need us, they want stuff. There’s nothing like losing or almost losing a loved one that makes you realize that stuff is really just stuff. Doesn’t matter how you try to fill the void, how much stuff you put under the tree - it’s still just stuff.  Be there. Really be there…it might make a difference to someone you love.

We had plenty of gifts under the tree - probably as many as we’ve always had but it was different - we were changed. It wasn’t about opening presents - it was the excitement of being so “in the moment”. We were never more in “the now”.  We savoured the moments…we took our time and didn’t open gifts all at once…the twelve days of Christmas was our cue. I would begin the song “on the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me…” then we would race to the tree to find a gift with our name on it and while the oven timer ticked away the minutes we would have time to open two maybe three then back to the kitchen to make more cookies and more memories with Grandma. My mother happened to be “five golden rings” so the middle was always dramatic.  We never did get all the numbers connected with the ”lords a leaping” or “drummers drumming” but the laughter that sounded was just right and so much more fun! Santa comes to our neighborhood between 8 and 9 pm and one of the highlights of the evening was watching my Mother jump up and down waving at Santa as he passed our house on a fire truck. Papaw told us stories, oh maybe quite a few and as the years have turned his full head of hair white, I couldn’t help but notice the visual resemblance to Old Saint Nick.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

Last year when we arrived at Mt.Vernon Hospital to spend Christmas day with Michael, he had no memory of spending Christmas Eve with us.  He didn’t remember. No memory that one friend had been there, much less how many. He didn’t remember that he opened gifts and spent hours in the family waiting room with his “Brady bunch” family. He didn’t remember.  I could tell when I saw him seated at the nurses station that morning that something was wrong. The head nurse said Mike had been a quite emotional before we got there, thinking that he was there alone with no family or friends for Christmas. They tried to tell him we had been there the day before but he had no memory of it.   

Not everyone believes the way we do and that’s ok.  But for us, a bright shining star led the way to Bethlehem where in a small stable Jesus Christ was born. So on Christmas Day we celebrate a birth - we celebrate life.  Although December 25 is the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus, since the 18th Century there have been arguments that December 25 was chosen to correspond with the Winter Solstice or perhaps it was 9 months after the supposed date of conception, March 25- who knows.  As history is recorded it is left to the interpretation of the writer and it seems with every interpretation another group has a different platform to solidify their case. No one really knows for sure, one can only believe. 

We believe.

We would all remember Christmas 2008.

xxoo

On Christmas Eve, Mike’s very good friend Matt lost his beloved grandfather.  Matt lost his father earlier this year.  Rest in Peace Charlie Cornwell.

My nephew Jeremiah is starting a new life in Myrtle Beach and watched Michael’s Journey video this morning for the first time.  I haven’t watched it for a while and decided to watch it again to begin the day.  I continue to be inspired not only with the strength and perseverance of my own child but through the wonder of our human connection.   

Watching the video reminded me of this day last year… my husband (Bobby) was out of town and although absent was still scheming a surprise birthday gathering for me.  The group shot in the video with me and some of Mike’s friends was taken that night in front of the Mt.Vernon Rehab waiting room where they had all been in hiding.  The surprise worked…I was overwhelmed with emotion and speechless.  A year later, still finding inspiration through your undying support of not just Michael, but our entire family. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 

The weather in Florida has been awesome for the kids this week! Although I’ve only spoken to Michael once and it was brief, I’ve talked to Nate and Emily and it seems like things are going pretty good.  Four days, four different Disney parks  - I’m sure it took a toll on all of them, so day five (yesterday) they spent relaxing at the resorts outdoor pool. In the eighty’s, bright and sunny - Nate said he’s pretty sure he’s sunburned.  I think they’re going to hit a few balls at the golf course today.  Have you Northern VA people looked or been outside today? YUK! Double YUK!  I pick them up at the airport tomorrow afternoon.

One year ago, I would not have dreamed that a year later Michael would be able to travel to Florida much less be able to send a text message to me from his iPhone saying “Disney IS magical!”

Michael has come so far surely by the Grace of God but it has taken more than that. We can’t just go through life with blind faith that things will happen, we need our own drive and determination to make it so. We are all people of free will - we make choices that shape and change our lives.  Michael could have reacted differently to the injuries that shattered his brain but he didn’t.  We need to walk each day with purpose.  And when it seems that all odds are against us, when we can’t stand alone, we can be “strong like bull” with the love and support of family and friends.  Michael didn’t get this far on his own - he needed you.  He said in one of his posts “when I read your words I feel energized”. You were there.  You are still.  The journey continues….One Love.

xxoo

We’ve come a long way baby - I could barely think of Christmas this time last year.  I’m going to share some information with you but first I want to tell you about another angel that touched our lives. I’m not so good at making stories short stories but I’ll try…

One of the goals that Mike and I set recently was to work toward setting up an eBay store. A win/win for us - setting up the excel spreadsheets, gathering information, setting prices - all Mike’s job, Mike’s win…this is great executive function rehab. My win is to help supplement the household income since I’ve basically had to give up my career in Real Estate to commit to Michael’s recovery. So, our second sale was my Treo. As many of you know, I just switched carriers, only had the phone one year - you got it…sell it on eBay! We list it, it sells, Bobby does a hard reset, we package it and off it goes. Success! Not so fast.

The buyer gets the phone and the phone starts resetting itself every 8 minutes. It no longer works like it should, we have no problems taking it back. What’s right is right. We’re waiting to get the phone back and I get an eBay communication from the buyer. In the exchange of emails he sees the link to weluvmike.com and….(how am I doing with making the story short?).

His name is Kody. Kody has a wife and two teenage children and together his family watched Mike’s One Love video. The final email communication from Kody relayed this message ” i just sat my 2 teenage kids and wife down to watch your video dedication of your son on weluvmike.com… keep the money for his cause and know that you have a new family of four praying for your family and your sons recovery. may the lord JESUS be with you and your son..” Thank you Kody.
The Lord works in mysterious ways - we thank him for all our blessings.

Michael, Emily, Nathan and Sylvette are preparing to leave for a week long trip to Florida with David and the rest of his family. With David and Mary living in Richmond now, they don’t get a chance to visit with the kids very often.  I try to keep them up to date with the important stuff but the “how to’s” of daily living with Michael is really one of those things you share on a need to know basis. I sent an email to them today to go over the idiosyncrasies of “a day in the life” and after reading it again, I thought some of it might be helpful to share with those following Michael’s progress and going through similar circumstances. I know it helps me to read or hear how other TBI survivors progress as time goes by. We all look for hope in others. 

An excerpt: ” … what I’ve learned and… helpful hints. Everyone has their moments…

Fatigue – fatigue is a huge issue with brain injury.  Now add back, hip, neck and foot pain – Mike not only needs rest – he will need rest on his back (off his feet and off his seat).

No rest = irritable, restless and rude.

Behavioral/Emotional Difficulties:
Restlessness - Mike still has difficulty (at times) paying attention and is easily distracted so he is usually pretty restless. He feels like he needs to be doing something all the time.  If he’s not physically doing something – he’ll look for the DS or iPhone.

Agitation - the same thing applies when he has trouble reasoning. When he cannot reason effectively to understand or accomplish whatever the goal is he tends to become more restless and that quickly turns to agitation.

Emotional irritability - executive (reasoning) skills will pose challenges keeping irritable behavior in control.  Doing things that he should not do (like staying on the iPhone all the time) continuing to focus on one thing even though it may be to his detriment - i.e. looking at the phone while walking, not being able to put it down even though everyone else is looking at menus and so on.  If you interrupt, he may not be able to reason effectively or figure out right away what to do in that situation. He may get irritated that you want him to stop – it may take him a few minutes to understand and be able to solve the problem. The gates that would have kept this behavior in control have been knocked askew and things may come out (rude remarks) that used to be kept in.

Diminished insight - self-awareness of his performance and abilities. Although there has been improvement, Mike still does not have a good understanding how the injuries impact his daily life but at this point in his recovery, that’s probably ok.

Impulsivity socially inappropriate behavior – again, we’ve seen improvement but both diminished reasoning and lack of inhibition contribute to Mike saying hurtful things and he can be insensitive and blunt at times. He sometimes says things that come to mind without considering that it might be rude or hurtful. Sometimes it’s subtle, other times severe. He’s not able to reason that if he says it, then something undesirable is going to happen. The appropriate inhibition is not there.

Poor initiative – Mike’s frontal lobe injury has affected his ability to plan and to organize. This results in Mike usually not initiating activity. He may sit quietly and contentedly (but you can bet he’ll have the iPhone out). If you ask him to do something, he will do it but probably not go any further than that AND he will do at his own pace. The if/then reasoning skills and the attention problems prevent him from focusing on something long enough to be able to carry through with a plan.
Blaming others for negative reactions – i.e. angry outburst/rude comments. Let’s say Mike gets frustrated or upset -because he still struggles with reasoning he may not know the logical explanation for what is happening. He may automatically assume that someone else is doing or did something to cause his reaction. There are times that he’s just not able to remember something that he did, and may blame someone else.

Anxiety: I’ve found that when Mike has trouble being able to comprehend a situation (not being able to remember is usually the culprit) or anticipate what is going to happen causes him to get anxious. That anxiety will play out as anger.

There are situations that seem to trigger his anxiety:
* Being in crowds (his personal space has a large parameter and noise is still a factor)
* Being around small children (the noise and constant movement)
* Being teased (I should have listed this as #1 – it will set the mood for hours and sometimes days) he does not like it. He usually DOES NOT understand that it is meant as humor – he takes it very personal – he holds a grudge and will remember what you said that bothered him for hours/ days/weeks/ even months!  It just depends on who said it, and how he interpreted what he thinks you really meant.

HELPFUL HINTS!
* Remember that we can change our behavior or the physical environment.
Changing our own behavior will usually result in a change in Mike’s attitude.
* If possible change the environment.
Turn down the music; if everyone is together and you see Mike withdrawing – stop and listen – is there too much going on? TV on and everyone is talking at the same time? Is it too loud? Could he be tired – needs a break?
If you’re out just talk him through it…ask him what’s going on - he can get through anything with help.
* Behavior has a purpose - sometimes Mike can’t tell us what he wants or needs unless you ask him or figure it out – you may not know where to start but we can figure it out better than he can. 
* Put yourself in his shoes – you’ll usually find what is causing or caused the problem.
* Behavior is triggered - it usually doesn’t occur out of the blue. It might be something a person did or said that triggered a behavior or it could be a change in the environment.
* Try a different approach, or change the environment.
* What works today, may not tomorrow.
* Don’t tease or make fun of him - he doesn’t think his brain injury or the changes as a result of it are funny.

We take nothing for granted. Many, many thanks to all of you that have contributed to Michael’s recovery whether it is through prayer, through friendship and support or contribution to his medical fund. I have said many times, it takes a village. Thank you.

LIVESTRONG Michael.
xxoo

I try every week to find time to post updates but for some reason, it is a task that keeps getting moved to the “I’ll do it tomorrow” list of to do’s. 

December 1, 2008 finds us carrying more weight than last year (in more ways than one) but as a family we have so much to be thankful for.  This time last year, Mike had been transferred from INOVA Fairfax Hospital to Mt.Vernon Rehab and had been there for about two weeks.  He would have five more weeks of hospital care and in-patient rehabilitation. We took a Thanksgiving meal to him in the hospital - to his room with a view.  One year later and never more sincere, we gave thanks to God for all our blessings.  Every holiday since Michael’s accident and return to “life” is a first for us and although it is not life as it was, it is life as it is.  We celebrate life for all it’s worth.  We celebrate like any first - first birthday, first 4th of July, first Halloween, the first Thanksgiving… every day, every event, every holiday - another celebration of life. Our bonded family never stronger, never more thankful.

Our group of friends is and will be going through some “firsts” of their own this holiday season. My thoughts and prayer are with each and every one of them and pray they find strength and the courage to face their first without.  It was this same beautiful circle of friends and family that held me together when I had to remember life. Through thick and thin we share.  We share tears and it’s okay, we laugh like there’s no tomorrow because we’ve learned that tomorrow is not promised or guaranteed.  Together we remember to put one foot in front of the other, we breathe in, we breathe out. 

Mike played football with his boys this weekend.  It was held the Saturday after Thanksgiving and when I asked Mike if he would like to go to watch the guys play he said “no” very matter of factly. That followed immediately by ”I want to play.”  My first thought was  - no way buddy - but without emasculating, I needed to be careful how I told him “no way buddy!” So, I chose to go over that it hadn’t been that long since his accident, did he remember how rough it got, how many people had gotten hurt in years before and that risking injury to his head, in my opinion was not worth it.  I got nowhere.  He said he didn’t want to go if he couldn’t play  - he wanted to go and he wanted to play.  He thought I was being over protective and we all know I can be so guilty of that.  I would have to kill someone if they hurt him.  I knew if he went, more so if he played, I couldn’t go.  Without a doubt, I would be that Mom. 

As he was getting ready, Mike said “Mom, I had a helmet in the hospital right? Do we still have it?” Not that he remembered but he still looks at photos and reads the blog every day - there are pictures of him at Fairfax Hospital wearing a helmet when there was no skull to protect his brain. “It’s in the garage,why?” Mike says “I think it would be funny to take it and then say, hey I brought my helmet did you bring yours?” Was it comforting? Was it more comfortable for him to be the one to point out to his friends that he was aware he wasn’t quite the same as he was Turkey Bowl ‘06? Was it for me? As Mike says “the world may never know”.  At the end of it all, he came away unscathed (thanks guys), got to spend time with who he calls “the best friends in the world”, and got to spend a few hours being as close to the guy he remembers being before in the blink of an eye, everything changed.

Stay safe this holiday season - take care of each other - friends don’t let friends drive drunk.  Don’t ever forget it.

 Let Mike be the lesson.

One Love

xxoo

WOW…it has been a long time since I posted. J I believe the last time was April 4^th….               

I wanted to take this opportunity to THANK YOU and express my thanks for the many blessings we have received over this year. We have so much to be thankful for, it’s hard to know where to begin. But no matter where we begin, I’m always reminded of this quote from Oliver Wendell Holmes ….”The Great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving”.   

Thank you all! May God bless you and your family with abundant blessings. See you in 2009 

Bobby

Talking to a friend yesterday about going through the day with intention.  I was talking about using every day events as opportunities for Michael to re-train his brain.  Mundane things to most of us because we’ve been doing them mindlessly for years and for the person who isn’t raising a young child or working as a caregiver for a TBI survivor, (or even me sometimes) it might appear that we’re not getting a lot accomplished in a day. 

The first thing I’d like to say is that rehab is a long process and we’re just a year out of coma. The clock starts ticking after coma, not the day of the accident…BUT based on what Mike’s neuro surgeon told us despite the severity of his injuries, he has a better chance to recover than other victims. Age - he is young. If Mike had been older, chances are we would not be where we are today. The brain stops growing at age 24 and Mike had turned 25 in June when he suffered the injury to his brain in October 07. Youth has many advantages. Prior intelligence- the reserve of neurons and connections he had built thanks to an intellectually stimulating and diverse life, and his overall curiosity and desire to learn. It seems that more research shows how people who are mentally active throughout their lives are better prepared to deal with problems like TBI, Alzheimer’s and even Dementia.

Still, recovery is a long process. Michael had about six weeks of structured physical and cognitive in-patient therapy focused on speech and language areas while at Mt. Vernon Hospital. Therapy continued at home 2 to 3 times a week until he was accepted into the Bridge Program at Mt. Vernon for out-patient rehab. From March until May, 2 to 3 days a week he was fortunate to make great strides toward recovery and I was fortunate to have the opportunity to observe their techniques. The therapists identified the main tasks for him to work on in a challenging, yet familiar way. Since then Mike has had to rely on us to find effective ways to keep improving.

I learned alot during those days at Mt. Vernon. I try to do research about brain injury every day and I’m forever looking for TBI rehabilitation training tools on-line. But going back to the conversation with my friend, when you’re raising an intelligent child, or rehabbing one to recover intelligent, independent life, every thing we do is with intention, with purpose. We use daily tasks as an opportunity to teach - to create a learning environment. The brain learns with repetition and new experiences. A trip to the grocery store uses the executive level thinking that processes through the frontal lobes. Using a list, navigating the isles, locating the items and the decision making that causes the right and left hemispheres to work together.

All the processes required for self care didn’t come easy at first - remember how excited we were about Mike getting socks because his feet were cold…now without prompting, he is making decisions on whether he needs a jacket when going outside. Deciding on his own to pick up a brain game or use a hand strengthener while browsing the Internet. No longer needing a reminder to wash his face and brush his teeth before bed.  It may not seem like a big deal but going out without a family member to challenge social skills and decision making without the comfort of support is a huge opportunity for growth.  Don’t under estimate your role in his recovery - it will take a village.

Not all days but there is improvement -Michael can remember what he had for dinner last night, what movie he watched or what he did at Jimmy’s yesterday.  Nate said when Bobby and I were in SC, he said to Mike that he was hungry - Mike said he was too and proceeded to go to the kitchen to make himself something for lunch.  Remember from whence we came - progress continues in all areas.

We work on training the brain to remember. We read and take notes with the Intellectual Devotional in the morning - several times a week I query his memory of past readings which is always better than mine. We train visual memory by placing items on the table and tasking the brain to remember the items and their order. He has a new brain game for Wii so not only is he working on strength and balance with Wii, he is using it to train his brain. He is working on puzzles and can recite the alphabet backwards (try it, it’s not easy). Being so close to the situation it’s a little harder for me to measure sometimes, but I hear from others that they are amazed to see how Michael is getting better. He is not at the same level he was before the injury, but I can see progress every month and I have hope that he will continue improving.  We are currently searching clinical trials for TBI related research and both Michael and I have sent emails to potential opportunities we’ve found on line.  No luck yet - the search continues.  We’ve found that the majority of research happens at the acute stages or in China or India.  Mike would agree to go just about anywhere - especially UCLA but something closer would be nice - come on VCU!  How about you Johns Hopkins?

We’re still trying to walk two miles a day but if it’s not possible we work out downstaris on the elyptical or stationary bike.  We try to do two sets of 20 push-ups, resistance training with weights, regular and side planks and always some sort of stretching, and when we can we head to the courts - either tennis or basketball.  Being in a coma for a month can drastically affect your muscles and although most of his strength has returned, his ankles are still very weak. (but not the dreaded flop foot we feared) The weak ankles can’t support his weight which puts additional strain on the arches of his feet.  We went to The Running Store in Gainesville (highly recommend them) and Mike was fitted with shoes to help support his ankles and arches - everytime he puts on his shoes he comments on how much he loves them!  Thank you Liz!!

I think I mentioned in an earlier posting about Mike telling me it was ok that he was not the same person he was before the accident. I guess I’m not either - I’m finding gray hair and I’m much more wrinkled but I think I’m also a little wiser. Especially in the beginning, it wasn’t always easy to fully accept what had happened to Michael, or to realize the larger impact that it didn’t just happen to him. It happened to Nathan in more ways than you can imagine. It happened to Emily. It happened to Bobby, to David, to Mary, to our parents. It happened to Karl, to Matt, to Danny, to Jimmy - it happened to Mike’s friends. It happened to me.

We lost many parts of the Michael we knew but like he said, it’s ok. What we got was a miracle. We prayed for it. We were all a part of it. We felt it. Most of us praised God as it was happening. Our God is an awesome God - we thank him for our many blessings.

Michael has been a very fortunate survivor of traumatic brain injury. There are over a million cases every year of TBI. Many of them are military-related (over 300,000 estimated US service members have sustained TBI during assignments in Iraq or Afghanistan), and here mainly due to traffic accidents or sports related concussions.

The Iraq War is helping the way researchers and doctors see and tackle traumatic brain injury so I hope that transfers to benefits for civilians, too. From the recovery point of view, there is not alot offered to survivors of TBI after one year. I think there’s more understanding and hope today than a few years ago partly because of the media attention from the Iraq War but ALL TBI survivors need attention. They need the continued opportunity to recover through supportive rehabilitation environments and physical and cognitive therapy.

Another friend called on Veteran’s Day to tell me to watch a segment about TBI on a daytime TV show. Mike and I watched it together and as they talked about the wonderful opportunitues made available for this soldier’s recovery, Mike said with all humility “yeah but he got his brain injury from being a soldier, I got mine from being stupid”. It was hard to watch as this survivor struggled to find the right words - I deeply related to his wife when she began to talk over him to help him find those words. I don’t know how other viewers felt but it brought me to tears. I answered Michael with tear filled eyes and a shaky voice “Michael, he is just like you. He is someone’s friend, he is someone’s child and he survived a brain injury. You are no different than him - he has a purpose in this life and so do you.”

LIVESTRONG Michael.
xxoo

Last Sunday, Bobby, Nate, Sylvette, Mike and I (Emily was working) went to Bealton to watch an old friend (Mike Truschel) fly his beautifully restored Navy bi-plane, that he has affectionately named the Yellow Mistress.  It was pouring down rain on Saturday so we weren’t sure if Sunday was going to work but oh, did it.  It was a gorgeous fall day and perfect for flying.  Unfortunately we missed Mike T’s flight in the show but we had an opportunity to watch him fly later.  In fact Mike T. took our Michael and (our newly engaged, just turned 25 the day before) Nathan on their own flights. 

At the end of the show the Flying Circus has a wing walker perform.  So as the show was ending and we were watching Jana Lee walk on the wings and on top of one of the other bi-lanes, I asked Michael if he was ready for his turn.  He was ready but I don’t think he thought it was really going to happen.  But it did.  Thank you Mike and Liz Truschel for making it a reality!  We were not only allowed to get into the airshow as guests but Mike and Nate were also able to feel the thrill of flying in an open air plane.  It was awesome!  A HUGE “happy life” day gift for Michael and and equally thrilling birthday gift for Nathan.

Here’s a link to some of the photos http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=5171&l=62a38&id=1472454791.  The season is over so there won’t be any more shows until the spring but if you’re ever looking for something different and fun to do on a Sunday afternoon, drive out to Bealton, VA and visit the Flying Circus.  If you’re interested for more information, they have a website with lots of photos and details.   It was great fun - I highly recommend it!

Happy Birthday to my dearest friend in the whole wide world - my brittish BFF, my darling Alexandra Kilpatrick!

Happy Halloween

xxoo

OOPS!  JUst realized you have to be a facebooker to be able to see that link but I don’t have time to change it just now.  I’ll be back later to change the link!  Sorry…

Just a quick update…through recent x-rays, it appears that Mike’s spine is beginning to curve with the weakened right-side posture and we were surprised to discover that he had also received an injury to his neck from the accident.  He’ll be seeing a chiropractor for adjustments to his spine three times a week for a couple of months.  Not sure where it will lead but we’re hopeful that it’s the right direction.

We had an appointment to tour the Adapt Clubhouse this morning in Alexandria.  The Clubhouse is a state funded program from Brain Injury Services that offers a supportive environment fostering productivity for persons with brain injuries. Without a BIS case manager we’re on our own trying to feel out options and looking for direction. Mike is ready. He needs more than in-home rehab at this point so we’re searching the web, putting out feelers and praying for guidance. Is The Clubhouse the answer? Probably not, but it’s a start. Mike is high functioning - there’s a big difference. The Clubhouse will give him more than he has at home, but he is ready for so much more.

xxoo

A different mood this year for sure.  We made new memories of Nathan’s birthday dinner at Sweetwater Tavern.  It wasn’t down the street from Fairfax Hospital, it was in Centreville where we would normally go.  Not once did we fear that someone’s life would end while we were having dinner.  We were able to laugh, we were able to enjoy our family together and this time there was optomistic talk about the future.  Happy birthday Nathan.  I am so proud to be your mother and hope today’s birthday felt like a birthday should - full of joy and happy to be alive.  We’re celebrating life!

xxoo