I know you’ve been waiting, wondering, wanting to make plans and I have been procrastinating because I didn’t want to put it in writing but here’s the deal. I did not realize what went in to holding an official race and I guess naively, I also didn’t realize how much time it took to plan one either. I was/am still moved by how quickly and how many generous people grabbed the idea and ran with it (especially you Ellyn), researched and made it almost a possibility for this year, but the sad truth is we just couldn’t. We could have thrown something together but the general consensus was, if we wanted it done right, we needed at least another month or two to make it a success.  We would have greatly benefited and needed a running group to sponsor the event.  As I found out, running groups book 6 months to a year in advance.  

My feelings are mixed - the first anniversary of anything seems to hold the most significance - birth, weddings, dating, etc.,etc… so we feel that the “first” should be huge, should be just as memorable as the event itself.  But the second and third and fourth become just as important and the more years we have to celebrate, the more important they become. 

I wanted/want this 5K to celebrate more than just Michael’s survival and recovery.  Awareness - before Michael’s accident we didn’t understand the vastness of an injury to the brain, most people don’t - but should.  Prevention - we all know you shouldn’t drink and drive but how many of you still go to “happy hour” and then drive home? How many still go out to the bars, drink for hours and then drive home?  How many just like Michael, hanging out with friends, having a few drinks and get behind the wheel of a car to drive home? Michael still has friends that just don’t get it.  Fundraising - Michael’s insurance coverage for rehabilitation is over.  We are doing our best at home but we need the support of Brain Injury Services to guide us, to keep Michael moving forward with hope of continued recovery.  We do everything we possibly can to keep Michael’s brain engaged in recovery, but we are not professionals, we can only do so much on our own-there lies the other reason for the 5K. 

Brain Injury Services is a non-profit organization that is supported by state general funds administered by the Department of Rehabilitative Services. They are under-staffed and although Michael has been on the waiting list since January, his name is still far from the top. Far from receiving the benefits offered through BIS. They need our support to raise awareness and to ultimately raise funds so they can offer support to those they were established to help - people like Mike.

During the planning process, I contacted BIS to see if they could offer support for our event and the director told me about a similar event they have been holding for the last few years called the Kit Callahan Miracle Mile.  If you would like to participate, I believe that you can sponsor a survivor (like Michael)but please check out the website for more details Kit’s Miracle Mile .

I learned from the 5k (that will be, just not this year) - don’t say anything until you know it can be done. We WILL do something on October 18, 2008. We WILL celebrate life. We WILL celebrate and you are invited. Stay tuned…

OBTW - naming the 5k- a very, very tough choice so we finally just left it up to Michael.  He favored two “Single Steps 5K”  and ”Survivor 5K”, finally deciding on “Survivor 5k”.  He doesn’t want his name on the event like ”Mike Rosner Survivor 5K” but I don’t think it sounds too bad?  Michael would like the logo to be his Dali inspired vision of an arm with the open hand holding a cracked “brain like” sphere with E=mc2 floating out of it.  Remember, Michael BELEIVES in his own recovery - he has NO DOUBT.

E=mc2 is Einstein’s conservation of energy relationship. Energy is conserved as a relationship of mass and the speed of light. Energy, mass and light are related and joined within a closed system, and, therefore, as a basic circle. The circular relationship(s) among energy, mass and light, is an essential key to understanding reality. Energy and mass are form and substance in time and space (producing light, or speed, and sound, or size). All symmetries. All circles. All conserved. INFINITE

To all who have posted on the blog, kept up with Michael’s progress, called him, stopped by to visit, brought him cookies or banana nut bread, kept him in your life, treated him no different but acknowledging he was, sent an email, told a friend, shared a story, prayed for healing, cried watching the video - we are humbled, we are blessed to have your support.  It is a journey we couldn’t make without you.  One Love.

xxoo

Happy birthday to you (old fart), happy birthday to you (old fart), happy birthday dear David (old fart)…Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday David Rosner.

I found out yesterday that a previous client died at her home in Nokesville without warning.  This seemingly healthy young wife and mother home-schooled her two young sons and lived life for her family. Apparently while taking her morning bath, she just stopped breathing.  Our thoughts and prayers go out to her husband and two young sons as they try to cope with their family’s tragedy.

I guess dealing with so much loss over the last few weeks and the accompanying sadness has left me feeling at a ”loss” for words.  For all of us it is challenging to act like everything is ok when it isn’t, and as much as we wonder how we move forward, we do. We must, because life does go on.

With no updates for a while - where do I begin?  How about the visit to the Neuropsychologist…

Seventeen pages of assessment and commentary of Michael’s brain after the six page preliminary questionnaire and a four hour testing appointment. It is worth what it’s worth.  Hopefully an avenue to receiving some sort of disability assistance for Michael.  As the pile of medical bills continue to rise, we are still praying that his application for assistance will be reviewed and approved. 

This is no joke. The life he had planned, the life he knew before is over. My very intelligent son made a horrible decision one night to get behind the wheel of a car after drinking and he will never be the same. BUT again, life goes on.

With this blog we have been able to keep you up to date with his progress.  We’ve been able to share the journey from day 1.  Through this blog we are able to reach out to you and ask for prayers for healing.  We are so grateful for the support we have received and thankfully, I hear that the video and Michael’s story are touching and possibly changing people’s lives.  A way to pay it forward.

Along the way, I have often invaded Michael’s privacy by sharing details that aren’t always what we want to hear about his injuries.  I think it’s important though to share the neuro pysch test.

The injuries Michael sustained to his brain were undeniably debilitating but what we learned was the measure of damage. The numbers on the tests reveal an almost unrepairable decrease in brain function in the right  hemisphere.  The report says that although Michael’s overall intelligence still tests above average, the functionality of that intelligence has been significantly reduced.  The tests show that he may have an inability to analyze and synthesize information, that processing information is at an impaired level, at a reduced rate. Reasoning has been greatly affected - without balanced hemispheres, a stronger left hemisphere results in convergent thinking - rigid, single conclusions.

Pragmatic problems like impaired social judgment and poor comprehension of abstract conversation - jokes, sarcasm, etc. The affects being an inability to understand what people are feeling and with little awareness of how his behavior affects others. The report says that Michael may have difficulty maintaining relationships with family and friends because of a diminished self-awareness and social insensitivity. If you ask Emily, Michael’s lack of sensitivity at times makes him difficult to live with. 

The neuropsych tests exposed many things we already knew - for example, lacking the self-awareness of impairment and setting unrealistic goals.  For now though, this lack of self-awareness helps fend off depression.  The doctor said however when it does develop, it can be more chronic, debilitating, and difficult to treat.

He said at this point in his recovery, Michael would not be able to hold down the most menial job. That his memory would prohibit him from learning or retaining  new information. That he is probably having a hard time keeping friends because the injuries he sustained can be so misunderstood.  The left hemisphere single mindedness that would cause him to be egocentric, the inability to initiate or join in conversation makes him seem disinterested.  Friends will tire of trying to figure him out or bring him out.  Basically, lose patience and go on with their non-brain injured lives. He said it was the expected course after brain injury.

Not the news we were hoping to hear of course, but neither was the news we heard at Fairfax Hospital in October, a little over nine months ago.  “If your son survives, he’ll most likely be in a coma - up to or at least six months.  If he comes out of this, he’ll probably be a vegetable. Don’t get your hopes up”.

Well, he was in a coma a little less than 30 days.  He’s not a vegetable (far from it) and we DID get our hopes up….and… guess what, HOPE IS STILL ALIVE!

We read in the Intellectual Devotional every day.  Ask Michael, he’ll tell you about some of the “new information” he’s learned.  He may not be able to remember everything he hears or reads, but he’s getting better.  He is driven and engaged in his own recovery. He is learning skills to help him remember.  He plays brain exercising games, does work sheets to relearn math skills.  He believes in himself.  Friends are you done?  Have you given up on him?  I think not. 

As I said back in November when they kept telling us not to have too much hope for recovery, that what we saw as hopeful, what we felt meant nothing…”you don’t know us, you don’t know Michael Rosner”  We LOVE. We HOPE. We BELIEVE. 

xxoo

LIVESTRONG Michael

We are deeply saddened at the loss of another father in the band of brothers - a battle lost Saturday August 2, 2008.  Friday close to mid-day, I spent the last half an hour I will spend on this earth with Sonny.  In his home office, we talked a little business, we talked a little about life, about our kids and then he said “I want to play something for you”.  My friend, the lender I confidently referred to my buyer clients over the last six years, the husband of Trish, the father of Michael’s dear friends Danny, Jimmy and Michelle pulled up his website and clicked the link to ”An Irish song to enjoy”.  The most touching, most beautiful gathering of photographs, music and an Irish blessing.  Sonny, thank you for sharing the video with me - it was an honor.  Thank you for your friendship, your uncomprimised level of service through the years, and your comforting words of wisdom in times of need.   You will be missed.  

McNelis Family - our thoughts, our prayers, our love and respect. 

One Love - xxoo

http://www.e-water.net/viewflash.php?flash=irishblessing_en

I feel that things do happen for a reason.  Although I thought I was, I was not living the best of life prior to the accident. Since the accident I have had no desire to smoke or drink or anything else.  I still do get very lonely and that’s most of the time but I can’t thank my friends enough for their attempts to keep me involved. The brain injury has turned my life around. I had wanted to stop drinking anyway but was never successful. The accident turned my life around from where it WAS going to where it IS going. I like to think the brain injury hasn’t affected me at all but I guess it has.  I had a neuro psych test recently where I learned, surprise surprise that I still have above average intelligence but that my math skills are now those of a seventh grader.  My strength before was in math and sciences which was the reason I wanted to get my PHD. To hear that news was humbling to say the least but it will not change my attitude or my drive because I have always been and will always be a hard worker. Sometimes I lose track of what I’m talking about so it definitely affected my ability with conversation.  I get confused.  I’ve always known I had awesome friends but to this day they continue to prove me right. They are patient and accepting.  I am not the same person I was before. But this being said I still think that giving up is not an option and I am still “strong like bull”.  I think I’m doing well emotionally. Since my accident I ‘ve had to learn patience which was not a strong suit of mine but it has had to become a stronger aspect of my personality. I’ve come to realize how precious life is and how fragile it is.Going to church gives me a sense of gratitude for my life and being able to walk in and just be there. My back hurts while I’m sitting there but that pain is only temporary. It’s pretty simple, being in church helps me remember that I am blessed to be alive. When I went to see Dr. Hebda I learned that my brain is uneven.  That the left side is alot stronger and not as damaged as the right.  I’ve always been very analytical and always thought that the right side of my brain was the creative side. As it turns out the right side helps with being analytical.  This is what I think. The left side is like the bank.  The right side is the atm card and my atm card is damaged.  I have alot of money in the bank but I have a hard time getting it out because of the damage.

Obviously the lesson to be gained in this story is “don’t drink and drive” or you are screwed. Maybe not screwed but you will have alot of hard work ahead of you. My story may not change the way you think. I don’t expect to change the lives of anyone but i at least hope that it does. Things happen to people. They happen and they are out of our control.  Unstoppable.  to be honest, I don’t think anyone else’s experience would have changed my very destructive life before. I’m not here to make a point but just to share my experience to whoever is listening but if it does change a life then this DID happen for a reason.

Special shout outs to the Mc’s - I love you guys. Stay up.

With love and respect for the McLaughlin family there will be a few more days of silence…no blogging, no planning the 5K.  

 Godspeed Denny.

“An echo is what persists when the source is gone.”

xxoo

We are deeply saddened today by the untimely death of one of the fathers of our band of brothers. Our thoughts and prayers are with the entire McLaughlin family as they mourn the loss of their loved one.  Denny, we honor your life - you will be missed.  God be with you.

All Is Well

Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well.

By Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918)
Canon of St Paul’s Cathedral

xxoo
The Rosner-New Family

Ok folks…this is it. Wednesday evening we make a decision.  We have had WONDERFUL suggestions for the first annual “_______” event but we need more.  If you have an idea,  Private/Public we don’t care.  Just send it.  We need to name this baby!

danka shun

xxoo

Mike says “don’t talk about it, be about it”.  Michael is a SURVIVOR. A drunken drive home changed his life/our lives FOREVER but it was no accident.  There is a message, a cause, a reason that he is Traumatic Brain Injury SURVIVOR. The 5K is on!  

Mark your calendars - (after we get approval)

Saturday October 18, 2008

You are a group of VERY talented people and I am humbly and respectfully asking for your help.  I know nothing about planning an event of this magnitude but I am learning, thanks to Karl’s sister Ellyn. Ellyn is an event planner and has generously volunteered her services from afar to help guide the way.

Ellyn sent a packet to get things rolling and I now have 5 HUGE very detailed steps to follow to make this very important event a success.  I will need your support in every way - as we get closer I’ll need your experience, contributions of service, advertising, sponsorship, we’ll need t-shirts, bib #’s, banners, fliers, posters, a DJ, in addition to Mike we’ll need a local celebrity to speak, etc., etc., etc.

BUT FIRST….we need a name for the event.  What’s in a name? EVERYTHING! I’m going to start a discussion on the blog’s Forum section for your thoughts and suggestions for a name for this 5K.  Mike would like to call it “The Journey of Miracles 5K” and perhaps that’s what it will be but with just a few queries on Google, we’ve seen that maybe this isn’t so original.  Let’s get busy.  Let’s get creative. Let’s “be about it”. 

AND THEN…we need a route in the City…AND THEN… Approval …and then, and then….!

I know we can make this happen…

Sydney Gambini Jones shared a poem with Mike today that she thought was very fitting - Michael loved it and is quoting it already. Thank you for your intuitiveness Sydney.

xxoo

I thought an explanation/disclaimer might be in order for Mike’s post that included the letter to the pastor.  During church on Sunday, the pastor asked a couple of people to share their testimonies of how God had worked in their lives.  At the end of the service, he invited anyone else that felt they had a testimony of God’s work to write it on one of the blue cards or send it via the MAG website.  Mike announced before we even got out of the parking lot that he wanted to write a letter to pastor Scott to let him know how God had worked in him and changed his life. 

We got home, I went upstairs to change clothes and by the time I got back downstairs Mike had the church website pulled up.  He was trying to post but couldn’t get it to work.  I sat with him and showed him that he needed to register first and then with a password could log in and post his story.  Mike registered, got the password and began to type his letter.  He said he wanted to tell him what had happened to him and asked if I could help fill in what he could not remember.  There are times when Mike’s descriptive language is very simplistic, other times he is the language police.  If there’s a better word, he’ll let you know that you “should have said” or “so what you meant to say was…” English was never his strong suit but you wouldn’t know that if you hit him on a day he has police duty. 

As I gave him the details of what day, what time and so on he was quick to insert his own “proper” interpretation of what I should or could have said.  He can be very serious with policing what you say and of course we tease him endlessly.  He’ll rub his head and smile but doesn’t change his determination to correct you. We have a good time with it.

Like I said in my earlier post, Mike has been spending alot of time reading the postings and comments on the blog and spent about an hour Saturday afternoon on just the “we love mike” comments.  Based on some of his thoughts on Sunday, I think he had realized how many people cared about him during his time of need.  He read his Dad’s post just before writing the letter and had just heard the testimonies of the power of prayer at church - it was all very fresh in his mind.  He worked for about 45 minutes on his own and then asked me to come help him again.  My laptop can be frustrating and he was getting tired.

When I read what he had written, considering it was going to the Pastor, I thought it needed a little tweaking.  His feelings/thoughts sometimes bounced around so with his help, we talked about moving some things around so they would stay in sequence and then corrected capitalization and puncuation.   He knew what he wanted to say and he said it.  I helped him make it pretty.

On Saturday he had talked about wanting to post on the blog so after he finished the letter to the pastor Sunday, I asked him what he thought about taking that letter and letting it speak for his posting on the blog. He thought that was a good idea…saved him from typing so much on my laptop.  I changed the font to italics for the letter and he did the rest.

I thought it was important to add this detail to help you understand that although he isn’t always in touch with how he feels, there are times when he is and needs to get it out.  The next time he posts, it will be straight from him to you, no help with the pretty.  He doesn’t need to pretty it up for you guys - in fact he probably shouldn’t.

xxoo