Have we met?
“Hi, my name is Mike Rosner and I have a brain injury.” I think that when I say that I have a brain injury the confusion begins because it’s so utterly invisible but at the same time, is all encompassing and effects everything about me and to me screams out loud; YOU HAVE A BRAIN INJURY! but everything about me still functions kind of the same. I still walk, talk, laugh, think like I’m the same Mike Rosner but obviously, I’m not. To me my injury is obvious because what once was easy is no longer but I don’t know what other people think when they first hear or see me. I can be loud and obnoxious, dis-inhibited (no filter), very literal, argumentative at times, boastful, over confident, I like to think that I kept my sense of humor but I think that my sense of humor and the above listed throws people off. “Whoa, who is this guy?” I don’t think anyone wonders “does this guy have a brain injury?”
Acquaintances walk on egg shells, they get scared because I am brash and possibly misinterpret my over confidence, abruptness, inappropriate - ness, for me being some kind of douche. I’m not a douche, you’re a douche, I have a brain injury. But who asks that question “do you think this guy has a brain injury?” I’m still a person and it’s hard to be dismissed over something that is so complicated and almost impossible to explain. I don’t even get it, how can I explain it?
I am so proud of my friends currently. I know it’s a lot of work to deal with me and my problems but it’s really nice. People don’t have to drop off the face of the earth but you know brain injury or no, if you stop going out, people are going to forget about you. If your face isn’t out there, well you know what they say “out of sight out of mind” and it’s true for most people. But the whole point of this brotherhood is that we don’t have to see each other to know that we are boys. It’s a place in your heart and Jeff Herzig said it so well when he said “most people don’t have the opportunity to see who has your back, but you do”. These lasting friendships that just don’t make sense, that is my humble.
We each have a place in each others hearts and even though I’m not out there hanging at the bars with you guys anymore, I still feel as close to you as I did the day I left. The day I left…I feel so proud of where this life has taken us. I might be on the sidelines recovering from a severe brain injury but you guys are doing it at DITO. You guys are really making it and it’s killing me that I’m not there beside you to help you, to be a part of the dream we once shared.
“and from the sidelines”
There is a National Traumatic Brain Injury conference each year in Williamsburg, VA this year it was June 2-4. Brian McCarthy is the Director of Adapt and Westwood Clubhouses which are programs of Brain Injury Services, INC. Brian and my case manager Chris Swenson also headed up a young men’s activity group from BIS that we named “Wise Guys”. We do activities like shooting pool, bowling, going out to dinner, we’ve talked about canoeing, paint ball and some other activities because after a brain injury some survivors have to relearn social skills and how to make new friends after brain injury.
Brian was a speaker at the Conference on the importance of social and recreational activities after brain injury. He asked me if I would be willing to do a video interview that he could include in his presentation. (Heck yeah, I’ll do it!) He came to the house, showed me the slide show presentation he had prepared for the conference and then to the screened porch we went. Brian asked a series of questions and video taped my answers. That was awesome! I was so honored to be able to be one of THE voices for brain injury awareness and at such an important conference for brain injury. When the copy of the video is available, I hope to be able to link the video to the blog so keep tuned in. Brian said the feedback was “awesome” and so that is getting me amped up for the next step…
BIS has a wait listed service they call “The Speakers Bureau” that assists brain injury survivors to cultivate their story, help them learn public speaking techniques and become comfortable with sharing the intimate details of their injury and BIS facilitates the speaking engagements. So, on the heels of the best man speech and the aforementioned TBI conference video I feel poised to take the next step in my life’s journey. So, it’s the wait list game again but I am really looking forward to it! What’s next? I have a story to tell.
To Neil’s Mom: thank you for paying us a visit and also for your kind words about inspiration. It’s comments like these that will me to KEEP pushing. If I can inspire, then that is the inspiration for me. Who gets a chance to have their daily struggle be an inspiration to someone else? Thank you.
To everyone: My mother is typing this post while I dictate . It takes me a long time to gather my thoughts on what to post but when it comes to me it just flows but what you might not know is that I can’t stay on task long enough to include details. If you get a text from me or an email, it will be short and to the point. I need to get the information or communication out before the thought is gone and once it’s gone, it’s gone. I have forgotten what I was doing because an email came through or another thought came through or the dog walked past - I have had about 10 partial posts, none of them completing a full thought. Anything longer than a few sentences and I’m either repeating myself, or are totally off track. It is so frustrating and much easier to give up, but I don’t give up.
Maybe a voice recorder would work for some but a voice recorder doesn’t help me stay on task; I need a person to help reel me back in. My therapists actually think this is the best way for me to be able to release and communicate the feelings that I have without the frustration of trying to think, stay on task and type at the same time. Does this make me less of a man because I need an assistant to help me write? No, it makes me smart because I am becoming aware of my short comings and am adjusting accordingly. This works until it doesn’t.
My name is Mike Rosner, and I sustained a severe traumatic brain injury on October 21, 2007 after driving while intoxicated…this is my story.