it is real

On October 23, 2007 an old friend from high school and a fellow agent in my office posted on the blog ”I have a 19 year old son and I can only imagine the impact that Michael’s accident has had on your family”. Sunday night/early Monday morning I wish it had been her imagination when she was notified that her now 20 year old, her eldest son on his way home after drinking with friends, lost his life in an alcohol related auto accident.  I spoke with Pam yesterday and she said that she talked about Michael’s accident with Trey. They watched the video slideshow, they read the posts and comments from friends and family and talked about the real consequences of getting behind the wheel of a car after drinking.  Pam kept up with Mike’s progress and made a point to share his story with her family.  Trey did not make the decision to get behind the wheel after drinking; he made the decision to ride home with one of the friends he had been drinking with.  Like many, they might have thought about the chance of getting pulled over by the police but most don’t ask  themselves in that moment “what if I die? or what if I have to live the rest of my life a shadow of my former self? Or worse - what if I kill someone?  Who asks those questions?  Each one of us should. Most don’t and the consequence of that one decision is real! Our thoughts and prayers are with the Roseberry family.

The responsibility that comes with drinking is huge and peer pressure for young men in particular is so underestimated.  Pam’s son’s life ended and the life my son knew also ended because of one bad decision. That’s all it takes to change your life and the lives of everyone around you FOREVER. It is real.

I can give you the upbeat version of the progress that Mike has made despite the profound disabilities he will have to live with for the rest of his life. That’s what you want to hear because it’s the happy ending version that let’s everybody off the hook.  It’s the happy ending that let’s you go on about your life and not think about the consequences of alcohol consumption. How being under the influence influences your perception of what is acceptable, what is right or wrong; whether it influences  your own or the behavior and decision making ability of your friends.  I will return to the happy ending updates of Michael’s miraculous and continued recovery but not today. Today I want you to know that because of alcohol’s impact on decision making processes another father is grieving, another brother is alone, another mother is mourning the loss of her son and she is unable to make it better. She cannot make it go away. Her pain is real and it will scream loud inside her but in the silence of his absence it/he will persist. An echo is what persists when the source is gone. 

Did you know that alcohol involvement is the single greatest factor in auto deaths and injuries? Only 4% of all crashes involve the use of alcohol but 41% of fatal crashes do.  Did you know that  binge drinkers are more apt to make the decision to get behind the wheel under the influence? Did you know there have been over 5000 drunk driving deaths so far in 2009? Did you know that your life matters to someone?

John Young Roseberry III “Trey” age 20 a native of Nokesville VA was killed early Monday , May 18 2009.  He was a 2006  graduate of Brentsville High School where he was an outstanding wrestler and football player. He is survived by his father  John Young Roseberry, Jr., his mother Pamela Gill Roseberry and his younger brother  Zachary. It is real.

On this Memorial Day weekend please keep in mind that the effects of alcohol and intoxicated driving are far reaching. The effects reach way beyond the number of those killed or injured.  Take care of each other - friends do not let friends drive drunk.

I am the mother of three children, one of which is an alcohol related auto accident TBI survivor and there by the Grace of God go I.

One Love.

xxoo