the 5K

I know you’ve been waiting, wondering, wanting to make plans and I have been procrastinating because I didn’t want to put it in writing but here’s the deal. I did not realize what went in to holding an official race and I guess naively, I also didn’t realize how much time it took to plan one either. I was/am still moved by how quickly and how many generous people grabbed the idea and ran with it (especially you Ellyn), researched and made it almost a possibility for this year, but the sad truth is we just couldn’t. We could have thrown something together but the general consensus was, if we wanted it done right, we needed at least another month or two to make it a success.  We would have greatly benefited and needed a running group to sponsor the event.  As I found out, running groups book 6 months to a year in advance.  

My feelings are mixed - the first anniversary of anything seems to hold the most significance - birth, weddings, dating, etc.,etc… so we feel that the “first” should be huge, should be just as memorable as the event itself.  But the second and third and fourth become just as important and the more years we have to celebrate, the more important they become. 

I wanted/want this 5K to celebrate more than just Michael’s survival and recovery.  Awareness - before Michael’s accident we didn’t understand the vastness of an injury to the brain, most people don’t - but should.  Prevention - we all know you shouldn’t drink and drive but how many of you still go to “happy hour” and then drive home? How many still go out to the bars, drink for hours and then drive home?  How many just like Michael, hanging out with friends, having a few drinks and get behind the wheel of a car to drive home? Michael still has friends that just don’t get it.  Fundraising - Michael’s insurance coverage for rehabilitation is over.  We are doing our best at home but we need the support of Brain Injury Services to guide us, to keep Michael moving forward with hope of continued recovery.  We do everything we possibly can to keep Michael’s brain engaged in recovery, but we are not professionals, we can only do so much on our own-there lies the other reason for the 5K. 

Brain Injury Services is a non-profit organization that is supported by state general funds administered by the Department of Rehabilitative Services. They are under-staffed and although Michael has been on the waiting list since January, his name is still far from the top. Far from receiving the benefits offered through BIS. They need our support to raise awareness and to ultimately raise funds so they can offer support to those they were established to help - people like Mike.

During the planning process, I contacted BIS to see if they could offer support for our event and the director told me about a similar event they have been holding for the last few years called the Kit Callahan Miracle Mile.  If you would like to participate, I believe that you can sponsor a survivor (like Michael)but please check out the website for more details Kit’s Miracle Mile .

I learned from the 5k (that will be, just not this year) - don’t say anything until you know it can be done. We WILL do something on October 18, 2008. We WILL celebrate life. We WILL celebrate and you are invited. Stay tuned…

OBTW - naming the 5k- a very, very tough choice so we finally just left it up to Michael.  He favored two “Single Steps 5K”  and ”Survivor 5K”, finally deciding on “Survivor 5k”.  He doesn’t want his name on the event like ”Mike Rosner Survivor 5K” but I don’t think it sounds too bad?  Michael would like the logo to be his Dali inspired vision of an arm with the open hand holding a cracked “brain like” sphere with E=mc2 floating out of it.  Remember, Michael BELEIVES in his own recovery - he has NO DOUBT.

E=mc2 is Einstein’s conservation of energy relationship. Energy is conserved as a relationship of mass and the speed of light. Energy, mass and light are related and joined within a closed system, and, therefore, as a basic circle. The circular relationship(s) among energy, mass and light, is an essential key to understanding reality. Energy and mass are form and substance in time and space (producing light, or speed, and sound, or size). All symmetries. All circles. All conserved. INFINITE

To all who have posted on the blog, kept up with Michael’s progress, called him, stopped by to visit, brought him cookies or banana nut bread, kept him in your life, treated him no different but acknowledging he was, sent an email, told a friend, shared a story, prayed for healing, cried watching the video - we are humbled, we are blessed to have your support.  It is a journey we couldn’t make without you.  One Love.

xxoo

happy birthday

Happy birthday to you (old fart), happy birthday to you (old fart), happy birthday dear David (old fart)…Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday David Rosner.

and life goes on

I found out yesterday that a previous client died at her home in Nokesville without warning.  This seemingly healthy young wife and mother home-schooled her two young sons and lived life for her family. Apparently while taking her morning bath, she just stopped breathing.  Our thoughts and prayers go out to her husband and two young sons as they try to cope with their family’s tragedy.

I guess dealing with so much loss over the last few weeks and the accompanying sadness has left me feeling at a ”loss” for words.  For all of us it is challenging to act like everything is ok when it isn’t, and as much as we wonder how we move forward, we do. We must, because life does go on.

With no updates for a while - where do I begin?  How about the visit to the Neuropsychologist…

Seventeen pages of assessment and commentary of Michael’s brain after the six page preliminary questionnaire and a four hour testing appointment. It is worth what it’s worth.  Hopefully an avenue to receiving some sort of disability assistance for Michael.  As the pile of medical bills continue to rise, we are still praying that his application for assistance will be reviewed and approved. 

This is no joke. The life he had planned, the life he knew before is over. My very intelligent son made a horrible decision one night to get behind the wheel of a car after drinking and he will never be the same. BUT again, life goes on.

With this blog we have been able to keep you up to date with his progress.  We’ve been able to share the journey from day 1.  Through this blog we are able to reach out to you and ask for prayers for healing.  We are so grateful for the support we have received and thankfully, I hear that the video and Michael’s story are touching and possibly changing people’s lives.  A way to pay it forward.

Along the way, I have often invaded Michael’s privacy by sharing details that aren’t always what we want to hear about his injuries.  I think it’s important though to share the neuro pysch test.

The injuries Michael sustained to his brain were undeniably debilitating but what we learned was the measure of damage. The numbers on the tests reveal an almost unrepairable decrease in brain function in the right  hemisphere.  The report says that although Michael’s overall intelligence still tests above average, the functionality of that intelligence has been significantly reduced.  The tests show that he may have an inability to analyze and synthesize information, that processing information is at an impaired level, at a reduced rate. Reasoning has been greatly affected - without balanced hemispheres, a stronger left hemisphere results in convergent thinking - rigid, single conclusions.

Pragmatic problems like impaired social judgment and poor comprehension of abstract conversation - jokes, sarcasm, etc. The affects being an inability to understand what people are feeling and with little awareness of how his behavior affects others. The report says that Michael may have difficulty maintaining relationships with family and friends because of a diminished self-awareness and social insensitivity. If you ask Emily, Michael’s lack of sensitivity at times makes him difficult to live with. 

The neuropsych tests exposed many things we already knew - for example, lacking the self-awareness of impairment and setting unrealistic goals.  For now though, this lack of self-awareness helps fend off depression.  The doctor said however when it does develop, it can be more chronic, debilitating, and difficult to treat.

He said at this point in his recovery, Michael would not be able to hold down the most menial job. That his memory would prohibit him from learning or retaining  new information. That he is probably having a hard time keeping friends because the injuries he sustained can be so misunderstood.  The left hemisphere single mindedness that would cause him to be egocentric, the inability to initiate or join in conversation makes him seem disinterested.  Friends will tire of trying to figure him out or bring him out.  Basically, lose patience and go on with their non-brain injured lives. He said it was the expected course after brain injury.

Not the news we were hoping to hear of course, but neither was the news we heard at Fairfax Hospital in October, a little over nine months ago.  “If your son survives, he’ll most likely be in a coma - up to or at least six months.  If he comes out of this, he’ll probably be a vegetable. Don’t get your hopes up”.

Well, he was in a coma a little less than 30 days.  He’s not a vegetable (far from it) and we DID get our hopes up….and… guess what, HOPE IS STILL ALIVE!

We read in the Intellectual Devotional every day.  Ask Michael, he’ll tell you about some of the “new information” he’s learned.  He may not be able to remember everything he hears or reads, but he’s getting better.  He is driven and engaged in his own recovery. He is learning skills to help him remember.  He plays brain exercising games, does work sheets to relearn math skills.  He believes in himself.  Friends are you done?  Have you given up on him?  I think not. 

As I said back in November when they kept telling us not to have too much hope for recovery, that what we saw as hopeful, what we felt meant nothing…”you don’t know us, you don’t know Michael Rosner”  We LOVE. We HOPE. We BELIEVE. 

xxoo

LIVESTRONG Michael

Ralph “Sonny” McNelis

We are deeply saddened at the loss of another father in the band of brothers - a battle lost Saturday August 2, 2008.  Friday close to mid-day, I spent the last half an hour I will spend on this earth with Sonny.  In his home office, we talked a little business, we talked a little about life, about our kids and then he said “I want to play something for you”.  My friend, the lender I confidently referred to my buyer clients over the last six years, the husband of Trish, the father of Michael’s dear friends Danny, Jimmy and Michelle pulled up his website and clicked the link to ”An Irish song to enjoy”.  The most touching, most beautiful gathering of photographs, music and an Irish blessing.  Sonny, thank you for sharing the video with me - it was an honor.  Thank you for your friendship, your uncomprimised level of service through the years, and your comforting words of wisdom in times of need.   You will be missed.  

McNelis Family - our thoughts, our prayers, our love and respect. 

One Love - xxoo

http://www.e-water.net/viewflash.php?flash=irishblessing_en

hello world part 2

I feel that things do happen for a reason.  Although I thought I was, I was not living the best of life prior to the accident. Since the accident I have had no desire to smoke or drink or anything else.  I still do get very lonely and that’s most of the time but I can’t thank my friends enough for their attempts to keep me involved. The brain injury has turned my life around. I had wanted to stop drinking anyway but was never successful. The accident turned my life around from where it WAS going to where it IS going. I like to think the brain injury hasn’t affected me at all but I guess it has.  I had a neuro psych test recently where I learned, surprise surprise that I still have above average intelligence but that my math skills are now those of a seventh grader.  My strength before was in math and sciences which was the reason I wanted to get my PHD. To hear that news was humbling to say the least but it will not change my attitude or my drive because I have always been and will always be a hard worker. Sometimes I lose track of what I’m talking about so it definitely affected my ability with conversation.  I get confused.  I’ve always known I had awesome friends but to this day they continue to prove me right. They are patient and accepting.  I am not the same person I was before. But this being said I still think that giving up is not an option and I am still “strong like bull”.  I think I’m doing well emotionally. Since my accident I ‘ve had to learn patience which was not a strong suit of mine but it has had to become a stronger aspect of my personality. I’ve come to realize how precious life is and how fragile it is.Going to church gives me a sense of gratitude for my life and being able to walk in and just be there. My back hurts while I’m sitting there but that pain is only temporary. It’s pretty simple, being in church helps me remember that I am blessed to be alive. When I went to see Dr. Hebda I learned that my brain is uneven.  That the left side is alot stronger and not as damaged as the right.  I’ve always been very analytical and always thought that the right side of my brain was the creative side. As it turns out the right side helps with being analytical.  This is what I think. The left side is like the bank.  The right side is the atm card and my atm card is damaged.  I have alot of money in the bank but I have a hard time getting it out because of the damage.

Obviously the lesson to be gained in this story is “don’t drink and drive” or you are screwed. Maybe not screwed but you will have alot of hard work ahead of you. My story may not change the way you think. I don’t expect to change the lives of anyone but i at least hope that it does. Things happen to people. They happen and they are out of our control.  Unstoppable.  to be honest, I don’t think anyone else’s experience would have changed my very destructive life before. I’m not here to make a point but just to share my experience to whoever is listening but if it does change a life then this DID happen for a reason.

Special shout outs to the Mc’s - I love you guys. Stay up.