the brain

It has been an interesting week.  A birthday, well maybe two.  Mike’s on Wednesday - Bobby’s birthday was Friday.  Mike remembered it was his birthday when he woke up and although I tried to keep him busy, he couldn’t stay away from the life-link. Facebook, My Space and Gmail took him where he needed to be; to and with his friends.  We met Nate for lunch, then walked to the bookstore to look for Tim Russert’s book Big Russ and Me that Mike wanted to give Bobby for his birthday. He was antsy and unsettled.  A phone call from Matt while we were at Barnes and Noble to tell Mike what was in the works was exactly what he needed. 

Mike was swooped up late afternoon to celebrate his birthday the only way he knew how…with the band of brothers (Sylvette and Chrissy too).  The guys he has celebrated almost every birthday for over ten years (with Shannon almost twenty).  He loves these guys so much. Karl, Matt, Shannon, Justin, Danny and Nate (the biological) would lift his spirits and make him feel whole again like no one else can.  Put-Put golf, a Red Robin dinner and an autographed, numbered photo of Santana Moss paying homage to Sean Taylor.   Michael received two gifts that night; one that he sat proudly on his dresser where he lays his glasses.  The other,  the gift that keeps on giving.  The most valuable gift of all  -their loyalty and friendship. It is the bond that gives him strength, the bond that gives him hope, the bond that survived the brain injury.  TBI is a lonely place.

We walk a positive, quiet path with this brain injury most days but this week has been a little darker than most.  Perseverating, obsessing, rigid thinking lead to or contributed to a broken heart, a shaken ego, and lessons learned.  The girl - you know the story…moving too fast, can’t think of anything else (obsessing) and after a couple of weeks “mom, I think I want to tell her I love her”.  “you barely know her Michael, do you think you know her well enough to love her?”  He replied “I want to love someone.  I want someone in my life”.  One thing lead to another, he told her the love thing, her phone calls to him slowed down, excuse after excuse and then “mom, she broke up with me over the phone”.   Heartache is never easy but time heals, it passes…this too shall pass. Obsessing - lesson learned.

Mike has been working one day a week with a friend.  A friend that believes in Michael’s ability to find what is buried beneath the brain injury.  A mind that stores more knowledge than I could ever hope to acquire struggles sometimes to find it’s way.  Jim McNelis I cannot thank you enough for pushing Michael as hard as he pushes himself.  Although Mike was not successful in your challenge or his own challenge this week, you were able to tell him the truth without hurting him.  He responded humbly to your constructive explanation of why he may not have been able to complete the job. He was able to respond with dignity intact.  He is looking forward to the next challenge and loves and respects you even more.  He knows you will speak the truth no matter what the truth is. You believe in him just as he MUST believe in himself.  Rigid thinking - another lesson learned. I thank you for that.

A life changed - traumatic brain injury hurts.  We hear it, you hear it, HE hears it - there is a long road of healing ahead.  It is never easy for him or us but it is never too much.  We are blessed. We have Michael with us and we just celebrated his 26th birthday.  We went to one of his favorite restaurants on Friday - Arties in Fairfax.  He had the pork tenderloin with berry shortcake for dessert.  

During a conversation this morning as we were getting ready for church, now the king of quotes and corny sayings (Michael ) told me “if you believe you will recieve”.  I can tell you after this week of celebrating birthdays, of heartache and defeat - Michael’s attitude toward his recovery is still without question “I feel like a bull” .  Keep Hope Alive - remember? it is his slogan.

This blog is to document Michael’s progress and recovery.  We all love an inspirational story but there are times when the truth hurts - sometimes it isn’t pretty…no fairy tale here.  It is his life.

LIVESTRONG Michael.

xxoo