No trach. As the techs were bathing Mike this morning, his trach accidently came out.

11-13-07 @10PM - No trach.  As the techs were bathing Mike this morning, his trach accidently came out.  Because Mike had been breathing so well on his own, his doctor and the respiratory nurse made the decision just to keep it out.  His nurse Sheila, checked his oxygen levels throughout the day and Mike was able to maintain 95-98%.  They were very pleased.

The huge area of swelling in the skull flap area is almost non-apparent.  The stocking cap that Mike wears to cover the now indented area, is very similar to the “skully” he used to wear from Banana Republic.  Mike looks great but with outside evidence of daily brain storming, there is still swelling and bruising on the inside.

There is talk of transferring Mike to the Mt. Vernon Rehabilitation Center in Alexandria as early as this Friday.  We all believe that if Mike were able to make the decision himself, he would approach his rehabilitation aggressively.   4-5 hours of physical therapy, 7 days a week is much better for his recovery than 20 minutes a day, 5 days a week.  Mt. Vernon has a special brain injury unit and normally requires that patients have the ability to respond consistently to commands.  Although Mike is not consistent, he is young and strong.  They have agreed and believe a jump-start is in order.

he is so gorgeous

He is so gorgeous.  I have always been his biggest fan, his cheerleader. Watching Michael go through physical therapy today was like cheering him on at swim meets.  You could see the excitement in his eyes when he was greeted by his therapist.  A big smile when she came.  She pulled him up, sat him on the edge of the bed and Mike beamed. She scolded him when he let his head slump and for the rest of the session, he tried his best to sit up straight for her.

You could see it was exhausting but it didn’t end there.  “Mike, I’m going to stand you up now”, she says as her arms went under his.  He tightened his lips and up they went.  Anyone laying in the bed for three weeks would struggle not to have sea legs and so did Michael.  But with everything he had, he stood with her support.  With his back straight, his head high and sweat puring down his face, he stood.  Oh what we take for granted.

I am reminded of two comments from this blog.  Jessie’s “Mike is the one that taught you the lesson.” and David’s “just ask”.  None of us, including Michael want to be here. But we are.

LIVESTRONG

It is therapeutic. These words help us cope.

Monday, November 12 - It is therapeutic. These words help us cope. A heartfelt thanks to all of you that have expressed your love and support for Michael and our family. The personal responses I have received from the postings on “Mom’s Daily” are unbelievable. Those that know me well, know that I am a very private person, not one to share life’s intimate details but your encouragement is the reason I continue to open that window to the inside.

weluvmike.com is for Michael and his recovery but as the days pass, I think we are all realizing that this blog is healing us too. I am inspired by your stories and your love for Mike. Thank you for sharing. Thank you Jimmy.

The thrill of victory is so quickly replaced by the agony of defeat.

Sunday, November 11 - The thrill of victory is so quickly replaced by the agony of defeat. This comes through what we feel emotionally, not from what we have been told by the doctors. This is something we each must learn to deal with in our daily walk with Michael and his recovery. Two steps forward, one step back. One minute we’re living in victory as he truly connects with each one of us. It is the excitement you feel when your child smiles for the first time or takes the first step. You are so proud of him because that smile, that connection represents the beginning of what lies ahead as life returns. We walk on air.

It is only in the defeat that the severity of Michael’s injuries scream at you. Those injuries stand before you, the pain touches your face, rips at your heart. Screaming, “all is not right in this world. I am not ok… I am not well!” You are knocked off your feet and cannot breathe. You mourne. You are helpless. It is the roller coaster we ride.

The distance between a great victory and a terrible defeat is one step. We are reminded that the increase in brain storming can cause stroke and even death. It is not to be taken lightly. This is so real. How do we find the strength? Sometimes we don’t.

It is, as it was - one foot in front of the other. Breathe in, breathe out. Be like Mike. Be strong, be determined, have faith, have hope that after the dark, comes the dawn. LIVESTRONG.

I have worn the yellow LIVESTRONG bracelet since it’s origin. The recognized symbolism is Lance Armstrong’s victorious battle with cancer but for me, for us, it is a way of life.  

LIVESTRONG Mike.

A better day. No fever, less traffic and lots of rest seemed to make a big difference.

11-11-07@ 9:30 PM - A better day. No fever, less traffic and lots of rest seemed to make a big difference. The only medication given to Mike today was a pain med. A minor procedure to reduce the size of Mike’s trach caused a little pain and an increase in coughing but otherwise a restful day. The further reduction in trach size will encourage Mike to use mouth and nose 100% for breathing. We could already see an increase in mouth breathing. It seemed like he was gasping for air but the nurse explained that his efforts will be less labored as he adjusts to the new size.

Mike’s heart monitor and catheter were removed today

11-8-07 @9:00/PM – Mike’s heart monitor and catheter were removed today as his physical health continues to improve. During his physical therapy session, the Physical Therapist opened Mike’s hand and told Mike to catch the ball that she was about to drop and he did. She then asked him to release it and he did. They sat Mike on the edge of the bed for a few minutes and then stood him straight up to allow his feet and legs to bear the weight of his body. These are all great steps in the right direction.

Mike had a great day yesterday.

11-7-07 @11:30/AM – Mike had a great day yesterday. He continues to smile, opening his eyes, move his hand, arms and legs but without consistent responses to commands. Mike was moved out of the Neuro ICU to the Neuro Observation unit. In combination with this move, they are restricting sedation meds to one nighttime dose and Adderal in the morning to stimulate awakeness. This is another step in the right direction. All of his vital signs have remained stable.

On a second note, Emily, his little sister, was hospitalized at Prince William yesterday afternoon for what appears to be a kidney, bladder and urinary infection. She is doing fine now and we hope to have her home by this afternoon.

First full day in the new unit, a busy day for Mike.

11-7-07 @9:30/PM – First full day in the new unit, a busy day for Mike. His Physical Therapists, Speech Pathologist and Pet Therapists were in to observe and work with him. The speech pathologist requested a smaller trach tube for Mike - that procedure was done midday. If I remember correctly, this helps to promote more breathing from his nose and mouth. We noticed after the change that Mike was able to open his mouth more frequently, rubbing his tongue over his teeth and moving with speech like movements. Mike’s vital signs are stable and he continues to move around and open his eyes but without consistency to commands. Mike is still in a coma but as one of the Therapists described to us, brain healing is like working through a 3-story building. He is currently in the basement healing his way to the third floor. It appears that Mike can hear us, sometimes sees us and is able to make some associations.

Emily was released from the hospital yesterday afternoon and is doing better but she is still very weak.

There is no assurance or guarantee that everything will be ok

Wednesday November, 7 - There is no assurance or guarantee that everything will be ok, but I look for and find hope every day. I have to. Life goes on. There are others that need me so my strength cannot falter. Out of the blue, a 105.9 fever, nausea, neck, head and chest pain and we are rushing Emily to the hospital. I pull from somewhere deep inside and Emily and I make it through a day and a night at Prince William Hospital. Torn as I head to Fairfax to hold the hand of her brother.

In Mike’s room, Matt and Jessie say “there is such a difference in Michael when you’re here, you can tell that he knows you’re with him”. At home, my mother and Bobby care for Emily. I am where I need to be, but I am torn.

My dose of “everything will be ok” came in the ride home with Nathan. The hour stuck in rush hour traffic was spent with my child that has never understood how he touches the lives of others. How he lights up the room with his smile, his laugh, his sense of humor and the ability to put everyone’s mind at ease. Michael is “my prince”, Emily is the “princess”, I have always called Nathan “my gift”. My gift from God.

Nathan is the artist in the family. With the poetic ability to write lyrics to his music, the ability to put brush to canvas, the eye to capture the most amazing photographs but most importantly the gentle bohemian nature that touches your heart. This soulful, intelligent young man who loves and protects his brother, who loves his family and shares his heart with the very beautiful Sylvette, makes his mother’s heart soar with pride. Thanks for the ride Nate.

Catching up with email, I read “Difficult moments, Seek God. Quiet moments, Worship God. Painful moments, Trust God”. A good way to end the evening.

Ok…so the secrets out…he is Superman

Monday, November 5 - Ok…so the secrets out…he is Superman. As the Pet Rehabilitation Nurse said, “oh, he’s in there alright. He’s in the basement now but he’s climbing to the third floor”. Anyone that was there today, saw him. No, I mean really. What a ride, what a day. Who said “9 Lives- there can be no doubt“? Some days, I just need a reminder.

“Champions aren’t made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them: A desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.” Muhammad Ali

No doubt.