There is no assurance or guarantee that everything will be ok

Wednesday November, 7 - There is no assurance or guarantee that everything will be ok, but I look for and find hope every day. I have to. Life goes on. There are others that need me so my strength cannot falter. Out of the blue, a 105.9 fever, nausea, neck, head and chest pain and we are rushing Emily to the hospital. I pull from somewhere deep inside and Emily and I make it through a day and a night at Prince William Hospital. Torn as I head to Fairfax to hold the hand of her brother.

In Mike’s room, Matt and Jessie say “there is such a difference in Michael when you’re here, you can tell that he knows you’re with him”. At home, my mother and Bobby care for Emily. I am where I need to be, but I am torn.

My dose of “everything will be ok” came in the ride home with Nathan. The hour stuck in rush hour traffic was spent with my child that has never understood how he touches the lives of others. How he lights up the room with his smile, his laugh, his sense of humor and the ability to put everyone’s mind at ease. Michael is “my prince”, Emily is the “princess”, I have always called Nathan “my gift”. My gift from God.

Nathan is the artist in the family. With the poetic ability to write lyrics to his music, the ability to put brush to canvas, the eye to capture the most amazing photographs but most importantly the gentle bohemian nature that touches your heart. This soulful, intelligent young man who loves and protects his brother, who loves his family and shares his heart with the very beautiful Sylvette, makes his mother’s heart soar with pride. Thanks for the ride Nate.

Catching up with email, I read “Difficult moments, Seek God. Quiet moments, Worship God. Painful moments, Trust God”. A good way to end the evening.