in his way
The energizer bunny…where does he live? Maybe here. Mike does not rest when he is awake. If we are home, he likes the background noise of the TV but he really doesn’t watch much. The morning news will catch his attention, ESPN for a quick sports update, he likes to listen to the championship poker games every now and then lifting his eyes for a glimpse at the poker table. In the evening there are a couple of shows he likes but for the most part, if we are home his brain is not resting. He probably owns every DS brain challenging game there is and the DS does not have a chance to gather dust (or in our house, disgusting dog hair from our “wonder how he still has any hair” Mastiff). If Michael is not playing DS, or researching something on the Internet, or participating in a rehab program or something related to rehab, he is reading the blog. He is constantly focused without the ability to maintain focus. A conundrum.
co·nun·drum something confusing: something that is puzzling or confusing
Michael will work night and day retraining the areas of his brain that need to find new pathways; making the connections stronger with each challenge. He is focused. He can maintain focus without interruption for hours and would if I didn’t get in his way. Ask him…he’ll tell you just how much I get in his way. The “General” is committed. He has mastered the art of being alone in a room full of people and I can probably be pretty good at that myself. Maybe you’re good at it as well. The difference is, Michael is recovering from an injury to his head that changed the way his brain works. His brain is still in training. It is still healing, still getting stronger, damaged parts that used to control a thought process still need to find a new way to connect the right lobe to the left lobe, the back to the front, that beautiful wonderous healing brain is still a work in progress. So the part that let’s him focus for hours alone with his electronics is good BUT….
I read this recently and thought it was so relevant to what we (Mike and the rest of us) are experiencing. We are born with the amount of brain cells (neurons) that we will need for a lifetime but the neurons aren’t connected. As we interact with an infant or toddler, connections are formed. Positive interactions with nurturing parents or caregivers – like the attention children receive when they are read to. Even friends make a difference (yes, your circle of friends is a vital part of your working brain) -interaction profoundly stimulates old and young brains. This stimulation causes new connections to form pathways (learning pathways) and strengthens existing ones. As we age we shed the neurons we don’t use so the more stimulation and experiences you have, the more connections your brain will have formed (synapses) and the less it will shed. Connection. Being connected helps our brains stay connected. Pretty cool, huh?
You know we’re always keeping hope alive down here on the Roseberry Farm and my hope today is that my brain isn’t shedding as much as our dog is. 
Jokes aside, for the brain to keep making those connections it must rest. It must rest during periods of awakeness and also rest during periods of sleep. Without enough rest, the brain taps out of it’s stash of energy just like our bodies do. Man, am I good at making a short point long! Sorry.
A couple of things to finish this update. Michael has lost the ability to rest his brain during periods of awakeness and I know that without it, his recovery will suffer. I care enough to get in his way. There is a processing overload with some brain injuries that makes it more difficult to keep up with conversations, retain information, distracting noise, too many people talking, etc. Information is easier to process when you control the speed of what and how it comes in. All that DS and iPhone focus could be viewed as withdrawing, it might even seem rude at times but it is more than likely a way to control what and how information comes in. I care enough to get in his way. If Michael is going to re-enter the world as an independent player (and yes, even a playa) one day, he must learn to be in the moment. He must re-learn the talents of his person – to analyze and pay attention to the details and nuances of conversation. He must be able to make decisions, pay attention, focus, care about what is outside of those eight inches away from his face. Electronics - not where real people live. I care enough to get in his way.
God bless all of you that care enough to get in his way. For not excepting anything less from Michael than what he would want you to. Jim says “figure it out”. Nate. God bless Nate. He pushes Mike harder than anyone else to keep fighting his way out. He pushes him emotionally telling Mike that when he stays nose down on his phone the whole time they’re together it makes him feel like Mike doesn’t care. He pushes him mentally – yesterday they took a trip to the mall using public transportation helping Mike take those first steps toward mobile independence. He pushes him physically – today they swam 1300 meters. The swim today included a 200 meter drill in the stroke that someone said within the first six months out of the hospital after seeing him swim a stroke that he used to swim with such power and fluidity “don’t try to swim butterfly anymore. You can’t do it now, it takes too much coordination, just do freestyle”. Yeah, don’t tell them that Mike won’t be able to do something because Nate will push his brother to do everything you said he couldn’t.
I only talked about Nate and briefly Jim but there are others that show Mike every day that they care enough to get in his way. Karl – “Mike you were supposed to call me today…don’t give me excuses!” A few months ago, the band of brothers played their best poker hands with Mike cutting him no slack (he came in second by the way). I think they would want the same.
I look each day in the face but fast forward to “what if” when things get tough…”what if” something should happen to me? and what if Mike isn’t ready? There is nothing like that “what if” to get me right back where I need to be. It is not always easy, is it Mike? We butt heads, we are both determined and many times we are determined not to back down. But just as I knew it then, and I know it now. We can do this. You can do this. I gotcha.
LIVESTRONG Michael
xxoo
