Stand Up

I wanted to respond to Jim’s (as always) insightful comment to the last post.  While Michael was lying near death in the Trauma ICU at Fairfax Hospital, Nathan made a promise to Mike and himself.  If Michael survived, Nathan wanted to share in what would become not only an incredible will to live but a will to live better.  The life after would be full of necessary changes, one of which would be a life as a non-smoker.  Nate’s promise was to stand up with his brother as a non-smoker and become a person living a healthier life, a life of better choices.  When Michael was moved to Mt.Vernon Rehab and it looked like he would be home within months, Nathan faced and began to battle his nicotine addiction.  He won. Stand up.

David’s mother (Grandma Vee), was a smoker until she lost her husband to lung cancer.  They were serious smokers – a couple packs a day smokers – he died – she battled her nicotine addiction using hard candy. She quit. She won. Stand up to cancer.

A couple of years ago Bobby’s father quit after being diagnosed with emphysema.  This year, Bobby’s mother quit.  They’re winning.  Stand up.

Michael came home on January 4th, 2008 to begin his new life.  A life without cigarettes, a life without alcohol.  As a result of driving under the influence of alcohol, Michael’s new life journey will be as a traumatic brain injury survivor . 

If you’ve been following the blog, you may remember our friend Jeff who lost his son the day Bobby and I left to vacation in Kuauii’ on Valentine’s Day.  Late September, an auto accident that caused severe head trauma took his father’s life.  We were getting more of the details of Jeff’s father’s accident as Mike and I were leaving Costco that day and I got a little emotional.  Any time a close friend suffers, you suffer with them but this injury in particular hit hard.  Jeff is a dear friend and knowing that this year he’s had to say good bye to his son and his father saddened me deeply. 

The physical wounds of Michael’s accident have healed but the injury to his brain will be a long arduous journey to who knows where.  I will be eternally grateful that we did not have to say goodbye to our son last October and I don’t go a day without thanking God for sparing his life. 

But sitting in the car with Michael in the Costco parking lot, I found myself mourning the son sitting right beside me.  Mike asked “are you ok Mom?”  I answered with the truth.  A truth felt but left unspoken until ” Michael, it’s probably hard for you to understand because you’re right here with me but hearing about Jeff’s Dad, an auto accident, a head injury and a loss of a loved one just brings back so many memories of your accident.  And as weird as it sounds, I guess I mourn the loss of you – the parts of you we lost.”  Mike doesn’t say alot but when he has something to say, it usually takes my breath.  Michael said “Mom, don’t mourn the loss.  I am clearly not the same person and a part of me is gone, I will never be the same person I was.  But I am here and I am here with an opportunity to be a better man.  Everything I am now, is for a reason. Don’t be sad for me. Believe. Have hope, cause I do. “  With tears but now smiling, I put on my sunglasses and we drove home.  Stand up to fear. 

I get lost sometimes.  I allow the realities of this life to get the best of me and at times I’m barely hanging on.  I don’t look too far ahead, I fear the future (now that sucks for planning purposes but really works for blocking out the most probable harsh reality of the future) I can’t see the forest for the trees.  Life gets heavy.  But as heavy as life gets for all of us, there is always a light if you look, if you listen.  There is a light that sometimes comes when it’s least expected and then we win.  We win back that moment in time when we thought that all was right with the world.  It is still right – it’s just different.  It is different but it is going to be ok.  We’re still here.  Is it our responsibility to stand up and be strong for the living? I think so.  I am standing up to cancer.  I am standing up to fear and keeping hope alive.

Join me.  Don’t smoke. Don’t drink and drive. Think Healthy - Don’t over-eat.  Exercise. Stand up for life. 

Keep Hope Alive.  

LIVESTRONG.

STAND UP. 

xxoo