The thrill of victory is so quickly replaced by the agony of defeat.

Sunday, November 11 – The thrill of victory is so quickly replaced by the agony of defeat. This comes through what we feel emotionally, not from what we have been told by the doctors. This is something we each must learn to deal with in our daily walk with Michael and his recovery. Two steps forward, one step back. One minute we’re living in victory as he truly connects with each one of us. It is the excitement you feel when your child smiles for the first time or takes the first step. You are so proud of him because that smile, that connection represents the beginning of what lies ahead as life returns. We walk on air.

It is only in the defeat that the severity of Michael’s injuries scream at you. Those injuries stand before you, the pain touches your face, rips at your heart. Screaming, “all is not right in this world. I am not ok… I am not well!” You are knocked off your feet and cannot breathe. You mourne. You are helpless. It is the roller coaster we ride.

The distance between a great victory and a terrible defeat is one step. We are reminded that the increase in brain storming can cause stroke and even death. It is not to be taken lightly. This is so real. How do we find the strength? Sometimes we don’t.

It is, as it was – one foot in front of the other. Breathe in, breathe out. Be like Mike. Be strong, be determined, have faith, have hope that after the dark, comes the dawn. LIVESTRONG.

I have worn the yellow LIVESTRONG bracelet since it’s origin. The recognized symbolism is Lance Armstrong’s victorious battle with cancer but for me, for us, it is a way of life.  

LIVESTRONG Mike.

A better day. No fever, less traffic and lots of rest seemed to make a big difference.

11-11-07@ 9:30 PM – A better day. No fever, less traffic and lots of rest seemed to make a big difference. The only medication given to Mike today was a pain med. A minor procedure to reduce the size of Mike’s trach caused a little pain and an increase in coughing but otherwise a restful day. The further reduction in trach size will encourage Mike to use mouth and nose 100% for breathing. We could already see an increase in mouth breathing. It seemed like he was gasping for air but the nurse explained that his efforts will be less labored as he adjusts to the new size.